The One with the Turkey on Monica's Head
by shopgirl152
Summary: Chandler has just confessed his love to Monica. Now comes the hard part...getting the turkey off her head.


**A/N**: This fanfic takes place after the Friends episode where everybody is reminiscing abut their worst Thanksgiving ever. This part happens after Monica walks into Chandler's apartment wearing a turkey on his head and he accidentally says "I love you!"

"You love me, you love me, you love me," Monica sing-songed, dancing around Chandler's apartment, turkey still stuck on her head.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. Admit it."

Chandler tried to suppress a smile. "I…don't?" He couldn't hide it anymore; he had loved Monica ever since London. He had just been to afraid to admit it. "I do, I do love you."

"Awww Chandler! Come here!" Monica opened up her arms for a hug. Chandler walked toward her, before recoiling. "Ugh. That turkey reeks. Maybe we should get it off your head first."

"Good idea. How do we do that?"

"Here, bend over."

"Chandler!"

"I don't mean bend over for _that_; I mean bend over so I can pull the turkey off your head."

"Oh okay. Ha, silly me. What was I thinking?" Monica bent over with her head toward Chandler. Chandler walked over, grabbing both of the turkey's legs.

"Okay, on the count of three, I'm going to pull the turkey's legs. You try to…um…push the turkey off…while I pull, okay?"

"Chandler, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Not a clue."

* * *

"Guys I'm telling you, I went over to Chandler's to see if him and Monica were alright and the next thing I know, I'm face to face with…with…Turkey Head!"

"Turkey Head? First you call Chandler 'sir limps-a-lot" during high school, then you come up with the name Turkey Head? Joey, you have got to be more original with nicknames!" said Ross in exasperation.

"Huh. Alright Mr. Fancy Pants, let's see you try to come up with a cool nickname."

Ross backed down. "Uh, I can't think of one."

"Oo Ooo! I know!" chimed in Phoebe, how about "Mr Snuggle-Muffin?"

"Snuggle-Muffin? That's even worse than 'Turkey Head.'

"Mine's more original."

"Hey, I like Turkey Head," said Joey.

The three friends started bickering over who was more original in coming up with nicknames. Finally, Rachel couldn't stand it anymore.

"Guys! Guys! Can it!" All three stopped bickering, turning to Rachel. "Look, Monica and Chandler have been gone a while. I think we should go over there and check on them."

"I'm not going over there. I don't want to see Turkey Head again." said Joey. "You guys go."

"Aw, come on Joey, it'll be fun," said Phoebe, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the door. This is the perfect time to get rid of your fear of turkeys."

"Uh, Pheebs, I don't have a fear of turkeys."

"Oh. Well…oh, just come on, it'll be fun."

With that, Phoebe dragged Joey toward the door, Rachel and Ross behind her.

* * *

"Ugh! Ugh! UGGGHHH!!" Monica groaned as Chandler attempted to pull the turkey off her head. "Chandler, I don't think it's working."

"Wait, just a sec; I think I almost got it." He pulled even harder, exerting every muscle in his arms. Monica felt the turkey start to come loose.

"Keep going, keep going! I think you almost got it—"

The turkey came off Monica's head with a loud pop, sending Chandler flying backwards into the hallway, the turkey flying out of his hands, crashing into the wall.

* * *

Inside Monica's apartment, the four friends jumped, startled by the loud crash that came from across the hall.

"What was that?!" said Rachel, feeling uneasy.

"I don't know, but it sounded like it came from our apartment," said Joey.

"Monica's over there! If someone hurts my baby sister, I'll…I'll—"

"You'll what Ross? Write a very stern letter to the cops?" Joey smirked.

"No, I will phone them, and _then_ I'll write a stern letter." Ross started walking toward the door at a brisk pace. "I'm coming Monica!"

* * *

"Oh my gosh Chandler! Are you okay?" Monica knelt down beside Chandler, who was now leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Can't say the same for you though; nice face."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You got a little something right here," said Chandler, touching his chin.

Monica rubbed her hand over her chin. "There, did I get it?"

"Not exactly."

Monica went to wipe her chin again, then stopped, staring at her hand. "What's all over my hand?"

"That would be turkey guts."

"WHAT?! Wait, I need a mirror." Monica jumped up and ran into Chandler's apartment. "OH MY GOD!" She rushed back out into the hallway. "Why didn't you tell me I had turkey guts all over my face?!"

Chandler cocked an eyebrow. "I…didn't think about it? You don't look…that bad?"

"That bad? Chandler, I have turkey guts all over my face! I smell like a turkey!" Monica began to cry.

Chandler got up from the floor and walked over to Monica. "You don't smell like a turkey," he said, wrapping his arms around her.

"Yes I do. I-I-I smell like a turkey!"

"Okay, yes, you smell like a turkey. But a very nice turkey; a Thanksgiving turkey. One that the pilgrims ate maybe."

Monica laughed. "Oh you." She gave him a kiss before pulling back and looking at him, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Why don't you go clean up?" Chandler suggested. "I'll wait out here for you."

"Okay." With that, Monica sauntered off into Chandler's apartment, leaving him leaning against the wall, a stupid grin on his face, watching the apartment door.

"Hey man, what was all the noise out here?" Chandler jumped a foot into the air, Ross's voice snapping him out of his daze.

"Oh. Hi. Uh, nothing. Nothing was going on out here. Just…uh…eating some turkey." Chandler picked up the turkey that was laying a few feet away. "Gotta love turkey."

"Chandler." Rachel groaned. "That's disgusting. Why don't you cook it first?"

"Well, I, uh—"

"Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that the turkey that was on Monica's head?"

"Monica's Turkey Head?!" asked Joey in disbelief. The four friends stared at him.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," said Chandler, thinking fast. "Yeah, Monica came into the apartment to cheer me up…and…well…the turkey was stuck, so we were trying to get it off."

"Well, why is it in the hallway then?" asked Phoebe.

"It kind of flew off her head and landed there."

"Oh my gosh! Is Monica alright?" asked Ross, sounding worried.

"Yeah, she's fine. She just went into the apartment to wash up."

"Oh okay." said Phoebe. She peered over Chandler's shoulder, eyeing the turkey. "Hey Rach? What should we do with this turkey?"

"I don't know Pheebs. Maybe we should just cook it."

"But we ate already," protested Ross.

"Come on man, it's free turkey," said Joey. I say we clean it up and cook it. So what if we're so full that we're about to explode? It's Thanksgiving!"

"Well, I guess I could eat another piece," said Rachel.

"I could go for seconds," said Phoebe.

"Alright, count me in," said Ross resignedly. "I won't be able to move, but hey, I sit at a desk all day anyway."

"Good for you honey," said Rachel, patting him on the shoulder. As Ross, Phoebe and Joey headed back into the apartment (Phoebe holding the turkey), Rachel hung back, noticing Chandler still standing in the hallway. "You coming Chandler?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Go on in; I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay. I'll leave the door unlocked." With that, Rachel went into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

"Oh Chandler," said Monica from behind the door, "I'm ready."

"Ready? Ready for what?"

"You have to come in here first."

"Okay, this is strange." Chandler opened the door to the apartment and looked around. No Monica in sight. "Where are you?"

"Follow the sound of my voice."

Chandler looked toward the bedroom. _It can't be_, he thought. He walked to the door cautiously, peeking inside. There was Monica, lying in his bed.

"You're in my bed. Big deal."

"But what am I wearing?"

"I don't…OHHH."

"Come here," Monica patted the other side of the bed.

"Yay!"

"Oh my god, could you be anymore juvenile? Get in here already! And turn off the lights!"

With his pants already around his ankles, Chandler turned off the lights and shuffled over to the bed…before falling face first on the floor. "I'm okay, I'm okay."

"You're a dork."

* * *

An hour later, the rest of the friends were sitting around Rachel's living room, feeling stuffed once again.

"Ohhhh, I won't be able to move for a week," groaned Ross.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to need new pants," said Joey. "Actually, I'm going to go over to the apartment and put on a bigger pair; I'll be right back."

Joey made his way around the chairs, lumbering over to the door. He walked into the hallway, then noticed something very strange.

"Hey, wait a minute. Was our door open earlier? I don't think it was. Actually, now that I think about it, Chandler never came back. He's probably in his room, griping about how much he hates Thanksgiving. I'll go make fun of him." He walked over to Chandler's room, peeked in the door and…

"OH MY GOD!"

Chandler and Monica were sitting in bed, eating pumpkin pie. They froze when Joey walked in.

"That's my pie! How dare you eat my pie! I..hey, wait a minute, why are you two both in Chandler's…oh. my. god. You…how _you_doin?"

"Ugh! Joey!" Monica picked Chandler's shoe up off the floor and flung it at Joey's head.

"Hey, that's my shoe! I might need it later!"

"You couldn't even walk to the bed without tripping over your own feet!"

"Hello, pants around my ankles; I think that's a valid excuse."

"So you to really did do it!" said Joey. "Wait, so you are two an item now?"

Monica blushed. "Yeah, pretty much. Joey, please don't tell the others."

"Can I have some pie?"

"What?"

"I said 'can I have some pie?"

"What does the pie have to do with it?"

"I won't tell if you give me pie."

"Okay. Here, this is the last piece."

"Thanks." Joey went to sit down on the end of the bed.

"Uh, Joe, what are you doing?" asked Chandler.

"I'm having pie, what it does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well, could you enjoy your pie out in the other room? We're kind of busy right now."

"Ohhh, I get it. Sure, I'll leave you two alone. Just, you know, try not to rattle the windows or anything."

"JOEY!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going. Geez. Can't a guy finish his pie in peace?" With that, Joey got up from the bed, closing the door behind him.


End file.
